Friday, April 28, 2017

I have a story to tell and I'm gonna tell it

So this is kind of like the reason to it all. To all my creativity. Everything that's been inside of me all the time. The core of myself. This is the time. I'm finally ready. To put my work out there..  and just to remind myself. I'm not doing this for attention. This is me. This is my way of healing myself through all I'm going through. This is something that comes so natural for me. It's like the words just come to me and I have to write them down, cause if I don't I know they will somehow slip away real quick and get all tangled up in my crowded brain. And it's actually the first time somebody is reading it too, so ofcourse it's a scary thing. I mean this is my personal diary that I'm putting out there. Because somehow I know I need to do it. I have always been writing, since the age of 6 years old I've ben writing diarys. Back then I remember I wrote for myself, to remember all the fun moments and good things when I'm all alone on my bed and probably have forgotten about all the things I've been through. But ofcourse I've been writing about all the sad and tough things in my life too, just because It really have felt good and made me see things in different perspective. Then I somehow ended writing, probably cause I just didn't prioritize it and just got in this early grown-up years when you're partying all the time and just do all the fun stuff. Then I moved away to a new city and life catched up on me. And because of all the things I went through I needed to really vent it out too. And when things got really hard it became all neccessary for me. The words just never seemed to stop flow. And my writing became more of a creative kind and a lot more poetic than before.
Well I always thought of maybe putting my words out there, but always been too afraid of what people might think and say. But I've somehow finally come to the point where I feel ready. I have a story to tell and I'm gonna tell it.


Aldrig tidigare hade jag svävat så högt, varit så nära planeterna, månen och stjärnorna.

Ett rådjur som stirrade in i våra själar. En rosafärgad kvällshimmel som speglades i våra ögon. En lång och ljum vårpromenad, sedan landade vi omslingrade under de vita lakanen i min säng.
Regnet som smattrade på takåsarna utanför det öppna fönstret. Åskan som ekade mot berget. En doft av ett vårregn spred sig in i sovrummet. Vi älskade och inget kunde nå oss. Vi var högre upp än molnen, bland stjärnorna svävade vi omkring i ett vackert rus. Magin var påträngande, i varje sekund kunde jag se den, känna den. Vi låg plötsligt på golvet men aldrig tidigare hade jag svävat så högt, varit så nära planeterna, månen och stjärnorna. 

Thursday, April 27, 2017

En onsdagskväll i maj

Vi kom ut från gymmet i Majorna. Klockan var mycket. Så typiskt oss att ramla ut från gymmet lite halvt svettiga och härliga efter midnatt en onsdagskväll i maj.
Staden var lugn och ljummen, himlen var fortfarande ljus. Vi gick längs gatorna.
Vi skrattade och sprang efter varandra som om vi vore barn på nytt. Fria och lyckliga. Du kom ifatt mig, tog tag i mig. Vi skrattade, sen kysste du mig. Fjärilarna från maggropen flög upp till huvudet och gjorde mig yr. Jag tappade fotfästet och ramlade omkull mitt på gatan i din famn. Vi skrattade och jag älskade varje sekund. Du drog upp mig från gatan. Vagnen kom och vi sprang det snabbaste för att inte missa den. Vi hoppade på den och kom fram till Järntorget och du lyckades övertala mig att följa med dig till din favoritbar. Ja tror bara det är du som skulle kunna övertala mig till att gå in på en bar svettig i mysbyxor. Vi levde.

Monday, April 24, 2017


Isn't it so crazy How much you can achieve when you are supposed to be doing something else? 

Omg. This project I'm working on (and have been working on, on and off for like 2 years. I am totally ashamed to admit it. But It's true. I have been procrastinating it for 2 years.) And I'm procrastinating as I'm writing this too. I am so inspired about it, but my secondguessing and indeciesiveness is as crazy as it gets. Everytime when I should be working on it, I come up with totally (in my head) valid reasons to do something else. These last weeks when I have had this intense stress in my head and also have created deadlines in my head when I should be DONE with the last details with the project. Cause I NEEEEED TO GET IT DONE. My brain gets so energized and inspired to do other stuff. It's crazy. Like I litterally have been starting to go to the gym, which I never thought I would. I have started to cook almost all my meals by myself(!) everybody who knows me is as freaking surprised about it as I am. I have started watching tv-series, which I haven't done before either. I have started to create my own bodyproducts. And even started working on a totally new business-Idea.. about something totally different than I'm doing now. Haha entrepreneur in the making. And today, after my work-weekend my apartment looks like a total mess. Which is something I can't handle at all. So today That's my mission. To clean my whole apartment and to re-organize it and ofcourse get rid of all the stuff that keeps me from Having my life together, as usual. Also I'm about to clean the drains in my bathroom..... and before I started I made a cup of coffee and then I got the Idea that I really need to write down what's on my mind. And got this Idea that I really should start writing down all these thoughts I have about life and about my art projects. So you could get a piece of what's inside of this head of mine. And follow my projects, just so you can understand the process of it all. Hahaha..... Some things just need to get out. So peace out. I'm about to start cleaning my place....... 

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Highly Creative People

Found this some days ago.. and just felt like, OMG this is so me. I'm so truly blessed with having this creativity in my blood. I always noticed most people aren't able to feel this kinds of feelings but, but never thought of it this way. This is so on point.